Updated October 2025.
You have a stable job. People care about you. Life looks “fine” from the outside.
And yet, deep down, there’s a restless unease. You wake up wondering: Why am I anxious? Why do I feel stuck? What is wrong with me?
If you’ve whispered this question to yourself, you’re not alone. Many people feel guilty for struggling when life “should” feel good. But emotional well-being isn’t only about achievements or comfort — it’s about meaning. And when meaning feels unclear or unfulfilled, worry, emptiness, and even quiet despair can surface despite an objectively “good” life.
In this article we’ll explore:
- Why happiness can feel hollow even when life looks fine.
- Insights from Existential Analysis (EA) and Logotherapy.
- How to recognise when “I should be happy” signals a deeper invitation to growth.
- Practical steps to move forward — especially when you keep thinking what is wrong with me.
When “Having It All” Doesn’t Feel Like Enough
Many of us grow up believing that success, love, or stability will automatically bring happiness. But psychological research shows that external circumstances explain only a fraction of our life satisfaction. After big life changes (a promotion, a move, a relationship), most people adapt quickly — a phenomenon called the hedonic treadmill (Diener et al., 2006). What once felt exciting can soon feel ordinary.
Existential psychology adds another layer: a life can be comfortable but meaningless.
When our daily activities drift away from our deepest values, or when we feel disconnected from a greater purpose, we can feel anxious, empty, or even numb.
“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”
— Viktor E. Frankl, founder of Logotherapy
Understanding Existential Analysis: A Deeper Look at the Human Experience
Our app and resources at Meaningful Paths are rooted in Existential Analysis (EA) and Logotherapy — therapeutic approaches that look beyond symptoms to life’s core motivations.
- Viktor Frankl (neurologist & psychiatrist) founded Logotherapy, showing that the search for meaning is a primary human drive and a cornerstone of psychological resilience.
- Alfried Längle, Austrian psychiatrist and psychotherapist, collaborated closely with Frankl and developed Existential Analysis into a full psychotherapy model. He expanded the work to include lived experience, personal freedom, authenticity, and biographical reflection.
EA proposes that our psychological health depends on four Fundamental Motivations (FMs):
- I am — I exist. Feeling safe, grounded, and able to face life.
- I am alive and want to feel. Allowing emotions and authentic contact with life.
- I am myself. Living freely and truthfully, being accepted as you are.
- I am here for something. Finding meaning and purpose beyond yourself.
When one of these is frustrated — for example, if you feel safe but lack a sense of purpose — inner tension emerges. People often interpret this unease as “what is wrong with me?” but it’s not a flaw; it’s a signal that an important motivation needs attention.
Why Anxiety and Emptiness Arise When Life Looks “Good”
- Loss of Inner Freedom
You might have built a life that others expect — but not one that feels true to you. This misalignment quietly erodes joy. - Unlived Values
Research shows that living congruently with personal values improves well-being (Schwartz, 2012; Brown & Ryan, 2003). If your career, relationships, or habits drift from your values, emptiness appears. - Meaning Crisis
Frankl observed that many modern struggles are existential frustration — not clinical illness but a vacuum where meaning should be. - Comparison Culture
Social media amplifies subtle shame. Even if life is stable, endless comparison can whisper “what is wrong with me” when you don’t feel as happy as others appear. - Suppressed Emotion
Feeling that you “should” be happy can create guilt about sadness or anxiety. Suppression can increase distress (Gross & John, 2003).
How Existential Analysis Helps When You Feel Stuck
Existential Analysis invites dialogue with life itself — not just symptom relief.
- Clarifying what truly matters
EA uses guided self-reflection to identify personal values, authentic desires, and what gives your life a “yes.” - Finding freedom within constraints
You might not change every circumstance, but EA helps you reclaim inner freedom: the power to choose your attitude and next step. - Integrating emotion and reason
Instead of dismissing anxiety, EA views it as an invitation to examine where life feels blocked. - Meaning as an antidote to despair
Frankl found that purpose protects against depression and trauma. Modern studies confirm: purpose in life is associated with lower anxiety, depression, and even lower mortality risk (Hill & Turiano, 2014).
Practical Steps to Reclaim Meaning and Ease Anxiety
🧭 Reflect on Your Fundamental Motivations
Ask yourself:
- Do I feel safe and grounded?
- Am I allowing myself to feel alive and connected?
- Am I living as my authentic self, or just performing roles?
- What am I living for beyond comfort and success?
Use our FM Reflection Cards in the Meaningful Paths App to guide this process.
🌟 Reconnect with Your Values (“Guiding Stars”)
- List 5–7 values that feel deeply yours (e.g., creativity, service, honesty).
- Rank them by current importance.
- Ask: Which daily actions align with these values? Which feel empty?
Values clarity improves well-being and combats the silent “what is wrong with me” feeling.
🧩 Take Small, Authentic Actions
Meaning isn’t found all at once; it’s built step by step. Choose one small change that feels more aligned — volunteering, creating, deepening a friendship, or setting a needed boundary.
🤝 Seek Support When Needed
Existential questions can feel heavy. Therapists trained in Existential Analysis and Logotherapy can help explore these safely.
You can book a session with psychologist Sandy ElChaar, co-founder of our Mountain Framework, if you’d like expert guidance.
🗻 Try Structured Meaning Work
Our Mountain Framework (created by psychologist and therapist Sandy ElChaar and Meaningful Paths founder David Chorlton) gives a clear way to move from confusion to clarity:
- My Motivations (identify core needs)
- My Journey (explore struggles and patterns)
- My Decisions (take value-based action)
When to Consider Professional Help
While existential reflection is powerful, persistent anxiety or hopelessness may require clinical support. Contact your GP or NHS mental health services in the UK if symptoms disrupt daily life.
Charities such as Mind, Samaritans, or therapists trained in EA can help.
You Are Not Broken — You Are Being Invited
Feeling stuck or asking what is wrong with me does not mean you are broken. It means an inner part of you is calling for authenticity and meaning.
As Frankl said, life continually asks questions of us; our task is to respond.
Explore Deeper With Quest for Meaning
If this article resonates, our practical workbook Quest for Meaning: 10 Exercises on Purpose can help you explore values, freedom, and purpose through guided reflection.
It’s designed for individuals, coaches, therapists, and teachers who want to bring Existential Analysis into real life.
References
- Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 822–848.
- Diener, E., Lucas, R. E., & Scollon, C. N. (2006). Beyond the hedonic treadmill: Revising the adaptation theory of well-being. American Psychologist, 61(4), 305–314.
- Frankl, V. E. (1985). Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.
- Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348–362.
- Hill, P. L., & Turiano, N. A. (2014). Purpose in life as a predictor of mortality across adulthood. Psychological Science, 25(7), 1482–1486.
- Längle, A. (2016). Existential Analysis and Logotherapy: Foundations and Applications. Facultas.
- Schwartz, S. H. (2012). An overview of the Schwartz theory of basic values. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 2(1).