You are going to be somewhere in 12 months time, why not be somewhere you love.
Our place of work is a very large part of our lives, and although we may not wish to be there and we may not choose the people we work with, we spend on average about one third of our time each week at our place of work. Not everyone makes money from their passion and not everyone gets along at work, but we do have the power to make the best of our place of work, we do have the power to choose the way we think and we do have the power to choose where we will be in 6-12 months time. The exact destination may not be perfect but at least we have chosen it based on our values and continually grown on our path to get there. We will discover more on how to cope with a job you hate, and what to do when you hate your job here today.
Reflection – consider why you hate your job
When we are in emotional turmoil, we can often become lost in a myriad of mixed emotions and heightened anxiety. This becomes cyclical as we feel lost and this causes more anxiety, and from this we can go down further negative thinking patterns. We need to find clarity and break down our feelings into chunks and observe them with a calm mind. From here we can go deeper on ‘why do I hate my job?’
Take time for a walk in nature or go for a run. Find a way to de-stress and get the body moving to help you clear your mind. Choose to be the observer of your thoughts and try to de-tach yourself from your thinking patterns.
Ask yourself the hard questions, be brave and be curious when you ask yourself these questions. Do not fear the emotion and do not fear the thoughts you are having; instead become curious over them.
Now ask yourself, ‘why do I hate my job?’ And ask yourself why you feel in a place that, ‘I don’t want to work anymore.’
Is it the job tasks that you do not enjoy? Is it the long hours? Do you feel unwell working in this place? Not always but often, it is the people that make the job enjoyable or challenging. Below we will learn more on how to create two areas whereby you can work out with more clarity the areas of your job you do not like and also the areas of your life you can work on for personal growth as well. For example, you may work 12 hour shifts and it might be wise that you find a job that has hours that are more spread our for your health. In addition to this you may work on your personal growth for your health by meal prepping every Sunday evening, removing sugary foods from your week and also joining running groups as well. There is often a balance at play where there are genuine challenges at work that need to be addressed, but also areas of personal growth we can always work on too. For every work challenge, ask yourself, how can I find a job with a healthier environment? Then ask yourself, how can I work on my personal growth to handle challenge’s in a healthy way in this area?
Setting Future Goals
How to get out of a job you hate? We need to set our future goals and have clarity in our vision. We then need to create small tangible weekly steps each week. Move forward an inch day by day with consistency.
Get out some paper, get out some magazines, get out some colorful pens, and have fun. What do you really want? What would truly make you happy? Write it all down, create a mood board and stick images onto it, create a brainstorm and more.
Once you have done this, re-design this in a neater format with arrows and monthly targets.
If you woke up one day and all of your problems disappeared, what would you do?
Make a list of small daily tasks, weekly tasks and monthly tasks to help you get to your goals. It might take you 3-6 months to leave your job and it will only happen if you make small consistent steps. The next job might also be a stepping platform for progress and personal development.
Your dream vision might be to own a wedding planning business; therefore you may need to leave your current job in administration, do some classes and courses and then 6 months later get a job in wedding planning. Then after some experience here you may build up some private clients and eventually setup your own wedding planning business.
Add a second path of health
In addition to your small tangible steps towards your goals, it is very important that you also create a parallel path of small tangible steps for your health. The better you eat, the more you exercise regularly and in balance, the more sunlight you get, the better your sleeping routine and so on; the more healthy you will be.
The healthier your brain is, the healthier your mind is, the healthier you body is and the healthier your soul is, you will have the foundation to achieve many many things and also attract many positive people along the way.
Set Financial Goals
In order to get out of a job you hate we will need to add a third path, the path of financial goals. In addition to the tips here our financial health course can help you with this process and how to build a healthy relationship with money. If you feel like ‘I don’t want to work anymore,’ then you must create financial goals and also follow the steps above. You may wish to learn how to get out of a job you hate, but that does not mean you can’t work hard and also work smart at something that you love to help you live the life that you wish to be living.
Work on your values
Look in each room in your home, and this can include a garage and shed, and make a list of all the things that you really treasure, things that you would not want to sell. This might be something that has been passed down by a grandparent, this might be your car that you clean and polish regularly, this might be a certificate of accomplishment and so on. What values can you attach to these items? Family, freedom, pride?
Make life choices based on your values and use these values as a compass. Next base your financial goals around two things: –
- Basic Needs: Rent or mortgage is covered, food bill, some savings etc.
- Values Driven: You may want to create more money so that you can visit your family more often, buy a certain car (not due to its appearance but due to how it makes you feel), to take a new course in something you have a real passion for.
These things will make you much happier as opposed to spending money on advertised shiny objects.
Learn What You Can
How to cope with a job you hate? As we discussed a little earlier, it is important to break down and divide up the deeper reasons why you are unhappy in the workplace.
Create two columns on a piece of paper and make some notes. On the left side of the column write down areas of work that make you unhappy and what needs and values your next job should have. On the right side of the column write down areas of personal growth you can work on.
Reasons you dislike your job and what values and needs your next job requires:
- I dislike the long commute to work and the long hours. I will find a job closer to my home.
- The manager does not listen to me. I want to find a job with a more supportive team.
Personal Growth and ways you can also develop yourself for the future:
- I will download a playlist of motivational talks and personal development for when I drive to work.
- I will practice mindfulness to help me when I become stressed by my manager.
Make It More Bearable
Now we have discussed how to cope with a job you hate, we will explore further actions that you can take to make your current job more bearable.
Commit to doing the basics well
Try not to let your job take over your life. make a daily commitment to do the basics well each day with discipline and let any other stresses wash away from you. If you dislike your place of work it is easy and understandable to let anxiety build up and to worry about social dynamics, bigger targets and so on, but in doing so we can start to make small mistakes and not do the basics well. Commit to doing the basics well each day and move on.
Exercise each night after work
Let some steam off, and channel any anxiety or anger through the body and through productive exercise. When you walk into a gym, take a breath, pause and say to yourself, ‘I will leave my day job at the door, and I will now enjoy my evening for me.’
Meditate each evening
It is important that we do not take our stress and anxiety to bed with us. Anxiety can grow in our sleep and then day by day get worse. Practice self-compassion and meditation each evening before you go to bed and avoid looking at your screen or phone.
- What Is Meditation? – Meaningful Paths
- How to Stay Focused with Greater Mindfulness – Meaningful Paths
- Healthy Habits For A Healthier You – Meaningful Paths
Build A Strong Network
In order to learn more on how to get out of a job you hate and also to learn more on how to cope with a job you hate, a strong network of support is needed in your life. Mindfulness based practices, meditation, exercise and more are incredible ways to help you with your mind and health. Having said this if you do not have a strong and healthy support network you can only go so far.
You do not like you job, you work very long hours, you rarely go out to socialise, you live in a one bedroom flat in the city and live far away from your best friends and your family.
You do not like your job, you work very long hours and have a very impatient boss. However, you live in a nice housing estate, with lots of greenery, you partake in Park Run every Saturday morning, you have a lovely group of friends who you meet up with for brunch every Sunday, and you parents live less than 30 minutes away.
It is very likely for the person in scenario 1, that they will have increased anxiety and negative emotions due to the fact that they do not have regular meaningful conversations and they do not spend enough time in nature.
We have a short health quiz you can take based on your lifestyle needs – Health Check 7
Be Kind To Yourself – Express How You Feel
When looking at how to cope with a job you hate, self-compassion is very important. Here are some examples on how to practice self-compassion and how to express yourself well to your manager/boss.
- Walk in nature or go to the park. No matter how much work you have to do, or jobs you have on your plate; dedicate 30-45 minutes per day walking in fresh air and near greenery. Nature has a very therapeutic effect for stress and anxiety. Our overthinking quotes page and also anxiety worksheets can be a great help to help your practice self-compassion.
- Go to the gym in the morning and enter your place of work 30 minutes early for a head start. Your boss will be impressed by your energy and commitment.
- Now that you have walked in nature you are in a place of calm to discuss a challenging situation with your boss the next day. Compliment first and empathise then share your piece. If you start a conversation with empathy you are letting the other person know that yo have listened, you are heartfelt and you care about their opinion. Then you can say, ‘however, I would like to add…’
- Once the boss starts to take notice of your positive stance more, you can tell them in a polite way of a few things that you find challenging at work, but offer genuine solutions and offer to take the lead on those solutions. Volunteer to help make positive changes. Perhaps start a mental health newsletter or plan the socials in the office?
When learning about how to get out of a job you hate, it is important to leave on a good note. If you follow the above principles, you can get a good review from your boss and a well written letter for your next job.
- Do the basics well at work each day.
- Speak to your boss, empathise, understand their view point, but also express yourself.
- Don’t take your anxiety and stress to bed.
- Go into work early and impress.
- Volunteer to help the workplace more engaging – mental health newsletter, plan the parties and so forth.
We have learned what to do when you hate your job, and how to navigate your way through this process. First of all we must take our time to answer the honest questions on ‘why I hate my job?’ Then from this asses ways to make our work more bearable and also things we can do for our own personal growth. Following on from this we need to find clarity in our vision based on our values and to create a plan with tangible steps with consistency. We then wish to add an additional plan of health so that we are fuelled for success. In addition we wish to add a financial plan so that we can organically grow our financial health and organically leave our job. Finally we wish to do the basics well at work and then further grow by communicating well with our manager and team.
We cannot leave a place of work in a day and it might take 3-6 months to do so. Leave the job you hate feeling empowered, leave the job you hate on a good note with your manager, leave the job you hate by being remembered as a hard worker who was driven and showed up early each day, leave the job you hate gracefully. A final note, leave your place of work a better person, someone who is kinder, more compassionate, driven and as someone who has also worked on their personal growth.
Thanks for listening.
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